Faster on My Own: Chapter 44
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With the sunrise, grumble, writhe. A solid cube sealed allows nothing out and nothing in. A landslide tumbling from the mountain would only drive it deeper, and the mountain does not even tremble. Can he pull himself up? Can he pull himself up to face disappointment? Can he, when the motion may blow out the flickering candlelight in his chest? Two days ago, a pair of feet were salvation. He imagined them righteous steps, invigorated by the final victory of the worker, but they passed by and he pretended not to notice they were calfskin loafers warm in the daylight until they were long out of view. Has he convinced himself yet that he’ll hear the march of justice just fine from the bed? Not that it’ll matter, he’s not getting up again. The quiet of the outside world is louder than it’s ever been and it’s blaring outside his window. He doesn’t need his ears. The absence of sound can vibrate in through his skull and shake up every lobe and wrinkle and that’s where the meaning lives. Pouring out it will cover his body and drench his spirit because you know. Another day, another hour, another second of the mangled clock in his head. But he knows. He knows it isn’t coming.
He knows it will never come.
END.
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That’s Faster on My Own! Thank you to all of those who read through it, recommended it to your friends, and so on. If you enjoyed it, found it provoking in some manner– I’m not particularly bothered about specifics on that front– please encourage others to read it. A serial novel like this lives on recommendations, and Faster on My Own is likely to remain exclusively in this form for a while: I have a different novel debuting in early 2024, which forestalls any plans to bring Faster on My Own to print. I plan to see it to print eventually, even if I have to do it myself, but by necessity that plan is on the back burner for now.
The novel debuting in 2024 is my novel of trans conflict, surreal interior decor, and anti-representation, LOVE/AGGRESSION, to be released with tRaum Books. More announcements to come on that front.
As for this Substack: I plan to return to using it for intermittent short stories, other thoughts, and updates about publications. So if you subscribed because you enjoyed Faster on My Own, don’t leave; there’s a lot of good stuff still coming your way.
June