In The Shape of the Emperor in TOWER
TOWER Vol 2: HOLE, a magazine which describes itself as “a digital magazine about sudden upheaval, abrupt endings, chaos and disaster,” includes a number of very good stories including mine, “In the Shape of the Emperor.”
The emperor has a harem of six hundred concubines. So too did each emperor before him, for all of our thousand years of history. With the exception of his favorites, those concubines will employ their skills on the emperor at most once a year, at which point they must be capable of delivering the most intense pleasures any living thing has ever known. To that end, a practice man is retained, chosen to match the emperor’s height, weight, and genital dimensions. Before me, the longest such a man ever served was six months before an emperor’s jealousy cut him down. I was chosen on the day of the emperor’s eighteenth birthday. I have served him for twenty years.
I’ve studied the stories of my predecessors to learn where they went wrong. Those that coveted one concubine or another, whether out of love or lust, saw their end the fastest. When I enter the harem for practice, I greet none of the concubines, nor refer to any of them by name. Under no circumstances do I smile at them.
Other predecessors became too active, performing sex instead of receiving it. To satisfy a moment’s indulgence, each of them lost their heads. To avoid this, I disrobe and lay down on the bed and stare at the ceiling until the concubines decide to make use of me. Only then do I move, and only at their prompting.
The most common mistake, which has sent hundreds of men to their grave, is the simple act of enjoyment. A smile on one man’s lips, pleasure in his eyes, the silk sheets gripped too tight. All of them meant death. There is no privacy in even a moment’s delight when eyes watch from every corner. My secret is a special herb blend which my brother gathers for me. It dulls my nerves to nothing but a low buzz. So no matter how great the pleasures these concubines perform upon me, I am no more agitated than I am when I look out of my window and observe ducks on the pond.
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